People Pleasing: a little blog chat

Hey Loves,

Are you a people pleaser?

Be Honest.

There's no judgement here.

Most of my clients identify as people pleasers. Which on the surface feels like a very positive trait - especially if you're a female in the business world or managing a family - or BOTH! Understanding how to identify peoples needs and meet them is a highly sought after skill for everyone - except, it doesn’t always work out for you. So, here's the thing... People pleasers are blocked from living their best life. They don't feel true joy because, they live & thrive off others slight praise. Living off external influencers will NEVER allow you to feel whole, within. Which, my dear, is no way to live. 

Now let me pause here and recognize that I could totally take a page from your book. I could learn to take things in the stride, go with the flow and accept more. My entire being says CONFRONT. CONFRONT. CONFRONT. I get uncomfortable when stones are left unturned. When I’m out of my comfort zone. When I don’t feel valued. So, I ask the tough questions - but, constantly. Which helps me to be a killer coach, but sometimes less than desirable to a loved one. I'm always learning from my clients.

So - let's just put it out there: at the end of the day, the grass may be greener, but we all have a lawn to manage. We can learn so much from each other. This post is about understanding one small aspect of your sweet, human self and learning how to improve it - because you're beautiful, my darling, and you don’t have anything to prove. 

one of these mornings the chain is gonna break but up until then, child, im going to take all I can take
— aretha franklin, chain of fools

The thing about people pleasing is that the chain always breaks. You always end feeling less than. You don't get credit for your effort. Your effort becomes expected, not praised. Expectations are raised right at that moment you're at capacity - but, you say yes. Yes! I'll take on the project. I'll pick up the kids. I'll bring the homemade, gluten free, nut allergy compliant cupcakes. I'll make the costume. My kid will wear the orange shirt. I'll pay the money. I'll go for drinks with the client. OMG I'm exhausted just typing it all. You do it all, and NEVER feel enough.

I'm a big fan of homework and reflection, so let's talk about solutions. Below is an activity I give clients. Do it. Take your time. 

How are you valued? (reliable, the sweet one, the clean one, the smart one...)

What's your real value? (shed the labels - who are you really???)

What are you saying yes to right now? (what obligations have you committed to? what upsets your partner, but makes you genuinely happy? What conversations do you cave to? what foods do you eat that aren't inline with how you want to eat?)

What do you wish you could say no to or stand up for?

OK, so what can you change? (there are so many things out of our control, but so many things in our control that we just give to others)

What is the impact of your change? (who/what will be impacted from your change? Is it livable?)

Being less of a people pleaser doesn't mean you become a selfish asshole. It means you take ownership of your skills and time. It means you own your value. It means other people will SEE YOU and value you as well. Because you have so much value. 

This is a heavy post, so reach out with any thoughts or feelings - I'm here for ya!

Much Love,

Emilie

Lovin' Lately

Hi hi! So, I'm shaking things up on the blog today and sharing the start of a new series:

Lovin' Lately! 

Over the past few months, I've been way more present on IG Stories (@emiliemaynorliving) sharing personal day-to-day tips, fav products, workouts, & thoughts galore! It's been such a fun way to engage with you guys! Between answering your Direct Message questions & the encouragement of my darling clients, Lovin' Lately was born! 

What to expect: things that I've recently discovered or have just really been loving or learning about lately! These are the people, products, travel inspo, tunes, foods and yoga stuffs that are simply rocking my world RN. So, without further ado...

1. Vital Proteins - I'm not wild about protein powders. I've tried dozens and never found "THE ONE." Whey protein doesn't suit my body and most of the plant based ones are soooo heavily processed and make me feel bleh - also, why is EVERYTHING filled with nasty faux flavoring? Um, I'll stick to hemp seeds over that mess ANY DAY!

Vital Proteins Collagen Peptide has been a game changer for me! VP is sustainably sourced, collagen based protein - which is awesome for bone health, skin elasticity and amino acids. TBH, I think collagen is quickly becoming the health & wellness industry's new golden child - STEP BACK KALE!

Vital Proteins helps people feel better and live fuller lives through sustainably-sourced nutrition products, promoting health, fitness and natural beauty. We do that by providing nourishing collagen and promoting our production of collagen - an essential nutrient stripped from our diets by modern food-processing.
— Vital Proteins Website
Vital Proteins Yogurt Bowl

Seriously though... I love that the powder completely dissolves in hot water and it tasteless, so I can add it to my morning tea, coffee, smoothies or even a bowl of yogurt! VOILA!

 


2. Ursa Major Deodorant - This stuff is the BEST natural DO. My friend Morgan runs an awesome shop, Club Duquette, with her husband. They carry everything badass + functional - candles, clothing, travel gear, palo santo, and skin care. I popped in a few weeks ago to try out the Ursa Major DO with pretty meek expectations, because, let's be real - natural deodorant is usually marketing for "hi, sorry I smell."  

So I was crazy surprised when it actually worked. Speaking from someone that spends several hours a day teaching yoga and active outdoors, that's pretty impressive! The product line is super clean and I love that Morgan and Duq are incredibly responsible with how they source product. If you aren't local - no worries! Morgan and Duq are awesome to work with and can ship products anywhere and of course you can order via the Ursa Website!

*also, I recently added a few of their face lotions to my skin care game - so expect an update soon!*


3. Spanish! - I took an 8 week Spanish course and fell head over heels for LEARNING & getting out of my comfort zone. So, I was kind of a late bloomer when it comes to embracing education and my intelligence. When I was a kid, I just didn't really fit into the traditional school system and it took me a LOOOOOONG time to realize that I actually love learning and being a student. Aside from my college degree in Communications, I have gone through 200 hrs of yoga training, a year of holistic wellness certification, another 300hrs of yoga school and now I'm onto Spanish. This class is only 8 weeks, but I plan to continue someway until I'm fluent. My husband is fluent and when we travel (which lately has been a ton!) I hate having to rely on him to get around. Mentally, I'm planning a trip to Ecuador this year - strictly for educational purposes, obvi :)

So even if learning a language isn't your thing, I hope you feel inspired to embrace trying something new in the near future! BTW - if you're looking to try yoga for the first time, my 6 week beginners course is such a fun way to ease in! The next series begins at Villager Yoga on Wednesday, July 19 6-7:30pm

Let me know if you try any of these out! I'd love to hear what you think. 

Much love,

Emilie

Healthy Holiday Tips

Hey friends! I've got a fun video to share with you! Friend and fellow #GIRLBOSS, Megan LaRussa and I teamed up to give you a few Healthy Holiday Tips as part 3 of her Style More, Stress Less video series. You might remember Megan from a webinar we did together last year, but if not, check out the video below then pop over to her page! My favorite aspect of her style coaching is that Megan helps truly empower clients to feel authentic and confident. She encourages clients to practice self-care, yoga, and nutrition in addition to teaching how to find individual, classic style! 

Much Love & Holiday Pleasure

Emilie

More Style, Less Stress video series with Megan LaRussa